26 Letters of Lucy
by XxFearTheFluffxX
Summary: Natsu is not a natural wordsmith. But a challenge is a challenge, right? D - Frankly, Natsu thought she had no right to complain. SHE didn't get kicked in the intimates.
1. A is for Able

**For those of you who remember this story – voilà; reposted. For those of you that don't, welcome to the story – I hope you enjoy it. Other chapters will make their way up at some point. As soon as they're ready, I promise.**

-X-

A is for Able

"Abusive!"

Gray looked at his long-time rival incredulously. Surely even Natsu, dim as he was, knew that _that_ was a bad idea?

The Ice-Make mage sighed heavily, massaging his throbbing temples in frustration.

The truth was this whole damn business reeked of 'bad idea'. As well it should – after all, he'd come up with it while he was totally pissed. And Gray would be the first to admit that his drunken inspirations were hardly his cleverest ones.

"Do you _want_ her to kill you, flame-brain?"

"What?" Natsu sulked. "I thought it was a good one. It suits her."

_Well, _Gray reflected, _there's no arguing with that._

"If you leave her a letter with nothing but the word 'abusive' written on it, she will crush you." _And me,_ he added silently. _For giving you the stupid idea in the first place. _"Listen Natsu, why don't we just call it quits? I was drunk last night – I didn't even know what I was saying."

But the rose-haired Dragon Slayer shook his head determinedly.

"No way, Snow Ball. A challenge is a challenge." He had that look on his face – that eager grin he always wore in the face of new obstacles. That look meant only one thing; there wasn't a chance in hell he was backing down.

"Fuck," Gray muttered. Lucy would probably have a few choice words for _him _before this was over.

"You remember the bet, don't you?" Natsu continued, grin widening.

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed, resting his pounding head on the table – the same one, ironically enough, he'd woken up on after the Guild party last night. "But you're not gonna win, so why should I worry?"

"How about 'abnormal'?" Happy suddenly interjected, cutting off whatever snappy retort had been on Natsu's tongue. The blue Exceed looked thoughtful. "'Cause everybody knows Lucy's weird, even Lucy."

Even Natsu paled a little at this suggestion.

"That's even worse than 'abusive'," said Gray bluntly.

They lapsed into silence.

After a few moments had passed, Natsu broke the quiet with another suggestion.

"Aggressive?"

"She will be if you use that one," Gray mumbled into his arm.

The trio continued to bat words about the table, though Gray with less enthusiasm than the other two on account of his hangover (and on that note, _where_ did Natsu get his energy? He'd drunk at least as much as Gray had, and yet he was acting as though he'd had nothing stronger than orange juice!).

None of them noticed the object of their heated debate storm through the guild entrance behind them with a tempestuous expression on her face.

"OI!"

The three of them froze, a variety of emotions crossing their features before finally settling on guilt. Gray didn't know about the others, but he suddenly felt a lot like a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

_How did she _know_?_

But when he looked up, ready to accept the fate – and no doubt the beating – in store for him, he was surprised to find that Lucy wasn't even looking in their direction. In fact, she showed no indication that she even knew they were there.

Instead she was glaring directly at Gajeel, who was standing nonplussed by the the jobs board, frowning.

Gray couldn't help but feel relieved.

"Gajeel Redfox, you dirty, no good, over-grown piece of scrap metal!" Lucy growled, marching right up to the Iron Dragon Slayer until she stood toe to toe with him. "I ought to rip those piercings right out and shove them down your throat!"

At this Gray _swore _he saw Gajeel blanch just a little, and shuffle back ever so slightly. And honestly, he didn't blame the guy.

"Oh yeah? And why's that Bunny Girl?" The Slayer's voice held only the tiniest hint of discomfort.

"Don't you 'Bunny Girl' _me_!" Lucy raged, reaching up and yanking the taller man's ear, forcing him to bend to her level. "You're coming with me – you're going to apologise to Levy _right now_!"

The rest of the guild watched in startled amazement as the Celestial mage dragged the fearsome Gajeel from the premises by the ear. They could only surmise that his lack of resistance stemmed from the sure and certain knowledge that Levy (for whom everyone was aware he harboured a certain fondness) would never forgive him if he damaged her best friend.

Someone in the room made the sound of snapping whip, and with that everyone returned to their business.

Gray blew out breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding and turned back to his companions – both of whom were wide eyed and obviously recovering from their own near-death experiences.

After a few minutes, in which a very pale Natsu continued to stare at the door Lucy and Gajeel had exited through, the shaken Dragon Slayer spoke up.

"I've thought of a word," he said hoarsely, turning to Gray.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. 'Able'."

Gray considered that carefully, before nodding his approval.

"I think you're right," he agreed, casting a glance at the guild entrance nervously. "Lucy's definitely 'able', alright."

Natsu grunted then stood to leave. "Yeah. And I think, in the interests of avoiding the business end of her ableness, I'm gonna go plant my first letter while the planting is good."

"I think that's best."

-X-


	2. B is for Brainy

**Hello all you poor abused readers of mine.**

**I know I've been quite cruel lately, starting stories and not finishing them (something that really bugs me of other writers, so I've also been a hypocrite). There's not much I can do aside from apologise and assure you all that the wait is over – I'm restarting this story and I WILL finish it this time. **

**For those returning readers who've read my profile, you'll have been expecting this. For those who didn't – SURPRISE! And for those who're reading this story for the first time, welcome and enjoy.**

B is for Brainy

Lucy examined the letter a fourth time, and then a fifth, forehead still creased in confusion. She held the scrap of paper, crumpled and torn in places, in her hands cautiously, reading and then re-reading the single, cryptic word scrawled there messily.

It was... well, it was odd at best. At the very least eccentric, if not down right ridiculous. And no matter how many times she scanned it, the meaning behind the note and it's unexpected appearance on her desk (where it had definitely _not_ been when she'd left that morning) remained a mystery. Whatever the sender was trying to say – or indeed, whether they were actually trying to say anything at all – was lost on Lucy.

And she didn't like it.

Her first thought, naturally, had been Natsu. He was always breaking into her house after all, and he was plenty weird enough to leave something like this behind.

However, Lucy's first thought was swiftly followed by a second, this containing the realisation that the Fairy Tail guild was basically _built_ on anti-social behaviour and weirdness. Natsu _was_ capable of doing it... But so was Happy, and Gray, and Erza, and Levy, and basically everybody she'd ever had any contact with during her time as a Fairy Tail mage. In fact, she wouldn't be surprised if most of the members had broken into her home at _some_ point.

The celestial wizard sighed.

_Oh, whatever,_ she thought, trudging to the bathroom. She was tired, and all she really wanted to do was have a nice long bath and fall into bed. Lecturing Gajeel on the proper way to treat a girl had been a surprisingly exhausting task.

_I'll ask around tomorrow_, Lucy promised herself, stuffing the note in her skirt pocket.

Not that she expected it would yield many results.

-X-

"Absolutely _not_!"

Natsu flinched. It hadn't been _his_ idea, but for some reason he was the one on the receiving end of Erza's wrath.

"If you want me to keep this little game of yours a secret from Lucy, you'll keep it clean!" she continued, full of righteous indignation on said wizard's behalf.

"An' how's what I said unclean, eh?" Gajeel boomed, cutting in before Natsu could fabricate an answer that wouldn't get him killed. "It fits her perfect!"

Erza's eyes narrowed. "Just because she happens to be well-endowed is no excuse to use such _disgusting _language! And besides," the red head sniffed, returning to her morning cake break. "'Boob-tastic' isn't even a word."

How had this happened, Natsu wondered. At first it had just been him and Happy and Gray – but now all of a sudden the whole guild (minus Lucy) knew about his challenge.

And were only too eager to help.

He supposed Erza finding out had been his own fault. She'd already been in Lucy's house – borrowing some shampoo, she'd claimed – when he'd stopped by to drop off the first letter. Something he would have known if he'd been paying attention and not imagining all the horrible ways this bet could go wrong.

Erza, mistaking him for a thief as he climbed in Lucy's window, had almost cleaved him in two with a nasty-looking serrated sword. She still might have if he hadn't hastened to explain that his intentions were one-hundred percent pure.

He couldn't even begin to fathom how he'd talked his way out of that one.

"I thought my word was pretty awesome," Bickslow grinned lewdly, leaning over Natsu's already packed table and blatantly ignoring the evil eye Erza shot his way.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Evergreen snorted, hands on her hips and a sneer on her lips. "'Bodacious babe' is _two_ words."

"And they _both_ fit, isn't that right babies?" There was a chorus of agreement from the masked wizard's charmed dolls. "So pick one!"

And on and on the arguments went.

Natsu sighed, scratching his head tiredly while his guild mates continued to bat b-words back and forth in a fierce, multi-player game of verbal ping-pong.

"Beautiful?"

"D' you want him to look like a sissy?!"

"Hmmm... Boring?"

"But Lu _isn't _boring!"

"How 'bout 'bitch'? That chick is one hundred percent bi-OW!"

This last suggestion came from Gajeel. It was his second 'inappropriate' (in Erza's words) suggestion that day, leading Natsu to suspect that he was still harbouring a grudge over the day before. Apparently someone – Levy, he would bet, because if it had been Erza the Iron Dragon Slayer wouldn't have been alive long enough to say 'Ow' – had smacked him for the proposal, and Natsu was glad. Just imagining calling Lucy a bitch, even indirectly... He shuddered. She'd skin him alive!

Almost inevitably, Lucy chose _that_ moment to saunter through the guild entrance with a ready smile on her lips.

"Hey guys! What's everyone doing over here?"

The group dispersed instantly, most looking away and pretending to busy themselves with other activities. They couldn't have been more obvious if they tried, and naturally Lucy picked up on their suspicious behaviour.

"Okaaay..."

Cocking an eyebrow at the rapidly retreating backs of most of her fellow guild mates, Lucy turned her attention the remaining occupants of the table – namely Natsu, Gray, Erza, Happy, and Juvia (who, for the sake of staying close to Gray, was willing to brave the very potent threat of Lucy's ire). There was a glint in her eye – a dangerous, _knowing_ glint – and instead of sitting down as she would normally do, Lucy instead pulled a scrap of paper from her pocket and slapped it on the table where all five of them could see it.

"That interesting spectacle wouldn't have anything to do with _this_ now would it?" she asked shrewdly.

Erza, who was hopeless at lying, swallowed the last of her cake and cleared her throat.

"I, ah, have to get back to..." She trailed off, getting to her feet and hurriedly approaching the bar.

The remaining members of their little group swallowed anxiously, but said nothing.

"Uh huh." Lucy clicked her tongue. "I _knew _it. You guys are up to something, aren't you?"

"Nah," Natsu dismissed, though he could feel himself sweating a little under her clever gaze. "We were just talkin' about the plans for next week."

"You mean the talent contest?" Lucy said skeptically. "So why didn't everyone just say so?"

"Er..."

The blonde's eyes narrowed. "You _are_ up to something. And this," she indicated the slip of paper with the word 'able' scribbled on it, "has something to do with it."

"Well-,"

"Mark my words, I'll find out what's going on here if it's the last thing I do," Lucy announced, scooping up the paper and stuffing it back in her pocket. "And I'd bet my zodiac keys it has _something_ to do with you, Natsu."

With that, she spun on her heel and marched to the bar to buy some breakfast from Mirajane.

Natsu watched her go, his eyebrows pinched in the middle of his forehead.

His consternation had less to do with fear (although he'd be stupid if he said Lucy's promise didn't make him a little nervous) and more to do with the fact that Lucy was so certain _he _was involved. Obviously he was, but she didn't know that... She just automatically assumed it was him. And the only explanation he could think of was either he was _that_ predictable, or she was _that_ brainy.

_Huh. Brainy..._

The Dragon Slayer grinned. It looked like he'd found his second word.

-X-


	3. C is for Complicated

**This chapter really did not want to be written! Seriously, this is like, the third version I've written for the letter C! However, after much blood and sweat, here it is at last. And I'm quite happy with it too.**

**Enjoy!**

-X-

C is for Complicated

"Aww, c'mon!"

"No!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"And _I_ said I don't accept it!"

Natsu let out a deep sigh, though in truth he still felt a little like laughing. Honestly, he didn't see why she was getting herself so worked up. It was an accident, and he _had_ apologised. True, he'd been beside himself with laughter as he did so, but that didn't mean he hadn't meant it.

"...never been so humiliated in my whole life!"

Natsu glanced up.

Lucy was storming away ahead, muttering furiously to herself.

He rolled his eyes. _So dramatic..._

"I don't see what the big deal is," he grumbled, pouting at his comrade's prolonged sour mood. "So a few people saw ya naked... who cares? You'll probably never see 'em again anyway." He decided it might be detrimental to his health to point out that Gray was naked all the time, and didn't make half as much fuss.

Lucy whirled on him with a speed that even he, with his heightened senses, found surprising. What surprised him more however, was to find her eyes brimming with, angry, unshod tears.

"A _few_?" she cried, her voice sharp as a whip. "Natsu, over a hundred is _not _a few! I was _so_ embarrassed! I think two or three guys even took pictures!"

"So they liked what they saw... How's that offensive?"

She just stared at him for a moment, mouth hanging open in disbelief. Slowly, the tears started to fall – Natsu winced, realising with some guilt that she really _was_ upset by the whole thing. It was so easy to forget how delicate his team mate was, because after all, most of the time she gave as good as she got. It was quite rare for Lucy to get truly emotional over some stupid thing he'd done (be it intentional or otherwise), but when she did, she would cry those big fat tears that made him feel completely rotten.

He really _hated_ to see her cry.

The thing was, he hadn't actually meant to burn her clothes off in front of the whole village. He'd been aiming for the cursed pigeon (the target of their last job) and it had been pure coincidence that it was flying past her in a bid to escape at the time. Lucy just kinda... got in the way. So even though she probably thought he'd done it on purpose – despite the fact that he totally wasn't like those other pervs from the guild – it had been a genuine accident.

"How mean, Natsu," Happy interrupted, scolding him from the air. "You made Lucy cry!"

The celestial mage paused, wiping at her eyes as though she hadn't even realised the tears were there.

Somehow, that made him feel even worse.

"Whatever," Lucy mumbled, scrubbing at the offending moisture furiously. When she looked at him again, her eyes were red but dry. "Never mind. Let's just... go home. Okay?"

Spinning on her heel, Lucy stalked away, leaving Natsu and Happy alone on the road, the former feeling like a proper ass.

"Argh!" Natsu roared, frustration making his breath fiery.

Happy squealed in panic, barely dodging the the pillar of flames that erupted his way.

"Natsu! You almost cooked me!" the Exceed cried, shaking a paw in indignation.

Natsu, however, didn't acknowledge the complaint. He was too busy watching Lucy's back as she walked away, thinking desperately of ways to make amends. He didn't like arguing with her, mainly because whenever they fought, she would stop going on missions with him. Not that he wasn't perfectly capable of working by himself, but it just wasn't the same without Lucy – they were a team after all.

The dragon slayer paled as another thought came to mind.

If he didn't make amends before they reached Magnolia, there would be something far worse than missions for him to worry about. If Erza found out he'd made Lucy cry... He shivered just to think about it.

_No one will find the body... _

"L-Lucy!" he yelled, breaking into a sprint. "Wait for meeeeee!"

-X-

Later that night, Lucy _still_ hadn't forgiven him. He'd apologised so many times, and had even offered for them to catch the dreaded train at the next town (even though she'd said they could walk back this time, since the weather was so fair and it wasn't that far). But she wouldn't even look at him – wouldn't so much as grunt in his direction. She all but ignored him as they walked, and when they stopped to set up camp, she constructed her tent in silence and retired immediately when it was finished.

Natsu gazed into the dancing flames of their camp fire. They'd arrive in Magnolia late tomorrow afternoon. He had to do something before then, or it would be a long wait before they did any more missions – Lucy had been known to nurse grudges for months at a time, and he was pretty sure that without him to help out, she'd _never_ manage to pay her rent.

He tried to convince himself that was the only reason for his anxiety, and not the looming threat of Erza pounding him to death.

"Have you thought of a C-word yet?" Happy asked suddenly, breaking the silence as he tucked into a fish he'd obtained from God-knew-where.

Truth be told, in all the commotion, Natsu had completely forgotten about his and Gray's bet. It had been almost a week since he'd come up with the B-word, he and Lucy having left the next day on the 'Cursed Pigeon' assignment.

That said though, he _had _actually thought about it from time to time – before Lucy went into her little fit of pique that is. There had been a few words that crossed his mind, but most of them were just an invitation for a celestial butt-whooping.

"A few," he admitted, glad for something to distract him from his current predicament. "But none of them good."

Happy hummed. "There aren't many good words to describe Lucy, huh?"

Natsu flinched, throwing a quick, panicked look at the tent some ways back. If Lucy heard that, he wouldn't need to worry about Erza's wrath – she'd finish them both herself!

"Shhh!" he hushed, eyes wide with horror. "D'you _want_ to awaken the beast?"

The cat tilted his head thoughtfully. "I think Lucy would be more upset about you calling her a 'beast' than what I said."

Natsu made a strangled sound in his throat, muscles tensing with dread. Happy was right of course.

Luckily, there were no hints of movement from the tent. Either Lucy was asleep, or she hadn't heard. Or she was just _that_ mad... He hoped it was one of the first two.

"So what kind of words did you come up with?" Happy continued, seeming wholly unworried by the threat of Lucy's ire.

Natsu scratched his head. "Crazy, cruel, crabby, chubby, cheap..." he listed, frowning. It went without saying, but none of those were even remotely acceptable. A few had the potential to see him murdered.

"Cheap?!" Happy gaped, completely in awe of Natsu's audacity. When it came to pushing Lucy's buttons, no one was more daring than the self-proclaimed fish-guru of Fairy Tail, but even _he'd _never gone _there_.

"Yeah... Like, she doesn't have a lot of money, you know?"

Happy sighed, exasperated. And, truth be told, a little disappointed. "I think you mean 'poor'..."

Natsu opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the sound of Lucy emerging from her tent.

Sharing a terrified look with his blue companion, he mouthed the word, "_Crap!_". Clearly she'd overheard them talking, and was coming to wreak her vengence.

The dragon slayer braced himself for the inevitable. He wondered which of her spirits she would summon to do the job. Would she get Virgo to bury him alive? Aquarius to drown him? Maybe if he was lucky she'd get Aries to fluff him to death...

But as she approached, Natsu noted there was nothing threatening in her posture. Her keys were still safely in the case on her hip, and she showed no signs of reaching for one any time soon. He couldn't see her whip anywhere either... Whatever Lucy wanted, it looked like a fight wasn't it.

She stopped in front of him, eyes downcast as she fidgeted with her fingers. "Natsu... I'm sorry."

Natsu gaped, certain he'd misheard. "Eh?!"

"I'm sorry, Natsu," she repeated sheepishly, raising her gaze to meet his. "I... overreacted earlier. About the clothes thing. I know you wouldn't do it on purpose... and... and you _did_ apologise... I'm sorry I was so stubborn."

"U-uh..." He half-expected some kind of catch, but if there _was_ one, he wasn't able to see it. "That's... okay, I guess."

Lucy smiled. Natsu didn't really get what was going on, but – knowing better than to question his good fortune – he smiled back tentatively.

They spent the rest of the evening together, and soon the argument was all but forgotten. It was business as usual; they talked about the mission, their plans when they got home, the reward (which had been cut _again_, due to excessive property damage)... It was like the clothes burning fiasco had never happened.

When Lucy eventually returned to her tent, Natsu scratched his head in confusion and looked over at an equally baffled Happy.

Damn, girls were _complicated_.

-X-


	4. D is for Devious

D is for Devious

Double-crossing.

He knew he couldn't use it, but that was the only Lucy-esque D-word Natsu could think of at that precise moment. The reason? Because that's exactly what she was!

Even after he'd apologised (about a hundred times!), and even after she'd made him think he was forgiven, Lucy had _still_ ratted him out to Erza. Not about the making her cry thing – which would have been bad enough – but about the whole burning her clothes thing, which was about a million times worse!

"_You didn't think I was just gonna let you away with it, did you?" _she'd grinned evilly. And Natsu wasn't exaggerating when he said _evilly – _Acnologia had a kinder smile than the one Lucy offered him then. _"You _did_ burn my clothes off after all."_

So she'd had her retribution. And it had been _terrible_. There were no words to describe the horror... the _hell_... He could still feel the imprint of the requip mage's boot between his shoulder blades. And in several other places, including a particularly intimate area that Natsu especially disliked having people's feet near...

Great. As if his nightmares weren't plagued enough by that red-headed she-monster!

"Hmm..." Natsu murmured thoughtfully, stirring his Fire Fizz (copyright of Mirajane Strauss) with the decorative umbrella. "Double-_dealing_..."

"Oi! Natsu!"

The dragon slayer flinched, hearing his name in a familiar, cheerful voice. Naturally, it was none other that his friend and team mate, who had betrayed him so viciously the day before – he knew her rent was due soon and he recognised her syrupy tone as the 'let's do a mission' voice.

He deliberately turned away from the guild entrance, brooding over his Fire Fizz with a scowl.

Natsu wasn't one to hold grudges, normally. They were pointlessly time-consuming in his opinion. The few grudges he'd nursed over the years had taken way more effort than the fire mage was willing to spend on such a stupid little argument, so he knew that – eventually – he would forgive his celestial companion.

But not yet.

"Are you _still_ moping?"

He cut a scathing glance in her direction. _What do _you_ think, _that look said. He didn't bother to reply with words and she sighed regretfully, though he knew she wasn't sorry because she smelt wholly unrepentant. That, and he could see the corners of her mouth twitching in an attempt not to smile.

"I'm sorry, Natsu." He glared. "Not for letting Erza beat the stuffing out of you," she clarified, seeing his skeptical expression. "It's high time you learned that actions have consequences; you can't be so careless all the time. I _am_ sorry that you're still angry with me, and I'm sorry it had to come to that in the first place."

Natsu still refused to reply. As far as he was concerned, there was no need for her to go that far. Giving him the cold shoulder was one thing – sure, it would have had the same results, because Erza would have found out anyway when she noticed the two of them weren't talking. But letting him think he was forgiven, then deliberately stabbing him in the back... That was underhanded.

Lucy sighed again, frustration evident this time. "Look Natsu, I'm not going to beg for forgiveness over what I did. I honestly think you deserved it, because what you did in that village really hurtme. No one likes being stark naked in front of a bunch of strangers." She paused, obviously considering the same exceptions to that statement as he was. "Well, except Gray... and Lyon... But they don't count."

He didn't contradict her. He couldn't for the life of him think why, but he agreed – they _didn't_ count.

"You hardly cover up much skin anyway," he grumbled, averting his gaze again. And it was true. Short skirts and skimpy, cleavage-revealing tops were her general ensemble. Natsu had been brought up in a completely different way, so he guessed he would never really understand, but he was pretty sure he wasn't the only one to think that burning her clothes off hadn't made _that_ much of a difference.

"That's... it's not..." she blew an irritated breath between her lips and shook her head.

Her flushed cheeks and exasperated frown were a familiar sight. Lucy, being a constant fixture on his team, had long ago taken it upon herself to explain some of the intricacies of human life that had always managed to elude the dragon-reared wizard. Natsu understood it was by no means an easy task – a lot of what she tried to teach him were what she called 'unwritten rules', which baffled him to no end because if it wasn't written, how could anyone be expected to know – and she often got embarrassed and agitated in the attempt.

He remembered with vivid clarity the last life lesson she'd offered him, about relieving himself in front of girls. It had been a joint lesson really, with Erza driving the point home in her usual violent way.

On that note, he'd also learned that dodging an onslaught of razor-sharp blades with your dick hanging out was decidedly less fun than it sounded.

"That's not... the same thing," Lucy said eventually, struggling with her words. "Certain areas are... are more – um – _intimate_, than others... And, well..."

Natsu grunted. Did she really think he was _that_ stupid?

"I know that." His groin throbbed painfully at the memory of yesterday. "That's why you're not supposed to kick people in them," he added pointedly.

Lucy blinked. "Do you know what 'intimate' _means, _Natsu?"

"Like, uh, tender... right?"

She groaned. "Urrgh! Why _me_?!"

Frankly, Natsu thought she had no right to complain. _She_ didn't get kicked in the intimates.

"Right, listen up Natsu – I'm only gonna say this once." She put her hands on her hips, all business. But the dragon slayer could tell she was still embarrassed because her cheeks glowed with a heat he could almost feel. "Intimate means _private_. A person's intimate places aren't supposed to be seen, and most people like it that way." She pointed to herself. "I'm one of those people. You burned my clothes off. People – _a lot of people_ – saw my intimate parts. End of discussion. Case _closed_. Now get up; my rent's due and we're wasting day light."

He didn't move. He was too busy thinking, considering this new information. Personally, he didn't see what was so private about those parts she was talking about. You either had one, or the other, and it's not as if people didn't know which just by looking at you. Igneel had, of course, taught him the difference, and he had a basic understanding of how they worked, but his foster father hadn't mentioned they were something to be shy about or ashamed of.

If that were the case – and he was still skeptical – then he could easily see where Lucy's anger came in.

Still. Setting Erza on him? That was still way below the belt. In more senses than one.

"_Natsu,_" Lucy cried, tugging on his arm. He barely budged. "Come _on_. My rent won't pay itself."

"Go yourself," he muttered, shaking her off.

Lucy scowled.

He felt the danger in the air a second later, and he turned to her slowly, wondering if he'd just made a phenomenal mistake. Her face was smooth and calm when he met her gaze, but he knew that meant diddly.

Natsu swallowed.

"Fine," she said, crossing her arms. "Don't come. See if I care." A smirk curled her lips, and when she continued it was in an offhand, too casual kind of voice. "I don't know what Erza will do when she finds out you let me go on a dangerous mission alone, but if you're still alive, I'll see you when I get back."

Shocked, he gaped after her retreating back.

He had no choice. He knew it, and she knew it too.

_Devious. That girl is just plain devious._

Grabbing the receipt from their last job, which was still crumpled in his pocket, he wrote the word down before he had time to change his mind.

Then, draining the last of his Fire Fizz, he stalked after her, unsurprised to find her waiting for him at the entrance, a job flyer already in her hand. Lucy beamed at him, and lead the way to the train station, nattering on about how this time the work was so simple that even _he_ couldn't possibly mess it up.

It wasn't until he was on the train that he realised, groggily, that finding a stray cat wasn't dangerous at all.

He'd been had.

-X-


End file.
